You will have a long and unpleasant discussion with your supervisor.
The true Southern watermelon is a boon apart, and not to be mentioned with
commoner things. It is chief of the world's luxuries, king by the grace of God
over all the fruits of the earth. When one has tasted it, he knows what the
angels eat. It was not a Southern watermelon that Eve took; we know it because
she repented.
-- Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar"
Q: Do you know what the death rate around here is?
A: One per person.
Q: How many Californians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Five. One to screw in the light bulb and four to share the
experience. (Actually, Californians don't screw in
light bulbs, they screw in hot tubs.)
Q: How many Oregonians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Three. One to screw in the light bulb and two to fend off all
those Californians trying to share the experience.
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: He was giving it last rites.