Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Sam and Janet.
Sam and Janet who?
Sam and Janet Evening...
The true Southern watermelon is a boon apart, and not to be mentioned with
commoner things. It is chief of the world's luxuries, king by the grace of God
over all the fruits of the earth. When one has tasted it, he knows what the
angels eat. It was not a Southern watermelon that Eve took; we know it because
she repented.
-- Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar"
The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers.
-- Wm. Shakespeare, "Henry VI", Part IV
A hundred years from now it is very likely that [of Twain's works] "The
Jumping Frog" alone will be remembered.
-- Harry Thurston Peck (Editor of "The Bookman"), January 1901.
Q: What's the difference between the 1950's and the 1980's?
A: In the 80's, a man walks into a drugstore and states loudly, "I'd
like some condoms," and then, leaning over the counter, whispers,
"and some cigarettes."